Why People Shy Away
(and What You Can Do About It)
To know what makes people shy away, you must put yourself in their shoes. Placing yourself in their position will give you visualized thoughts. Three probable reasons are written below.
One reason why people go way is that they are bored. Boredom sets in between two people mainly because of dissimilar interests. To escape boredom, find common grounds of interests. The solution is to change your interest - if you can do this. If this is not possible, find somebody that has similar interest as yours.
There are people who are open to other subject matters they are not familiar with, or they thought they are not interested in. But once they touch on the subject, they find that it is actually interesting for them. You might be one of these people. Give unfamiliar subjects the chance to enter your world. You have everything to gain from them. Life is a never-ending process of learning something new. This is one way (probably the only way) to progress intellectually. Adopt the principle of knowing a little of everything. Given the chance, you will know more of these things gradually.
The second reason is the self-serving human nature. If you make this aspect prevail over other intentions, you have to change it. If you donít let self-interest prevail, congratulations! You have a good positive foundation.
People can see through self-serving intentions. Itís the reason why people shy away. Let the other personís interest prevail over yours, so that bonding can ensue. This makes relationships stay for a long time, perhaps even for a lifetime
It cannot be discounted that some people mask their self-serving intentions. It is not meant to arouse suspicion or make you think suspiciously of other people. It is intended to awaken in you an alert mind so that a situation like this can be avoided or prevented. Let us be realistic. These things exist. Do not be suspicious. Nobody likes to be subjects of suspicion. Just be objective and open-minded.
The third reason is probably your own unique way of treating people. You donít know what they are thinking about, although you can speculate. However, you know for sure what you are thinking about and what you know you can control, change, or improve. Ask or check yourself if you have made them feel dominated by you. Do you complain a lot? Do you criticize? Have you been disrespectful of other peopleís opinion? Do you argue? Do you give importance to other peopleís interests? Have you shown appreciation for favors given to you? Do you always insist you are right and they are wrong?
These kinds of questions can go on without end, but it must boil down to one answer. If you want other people to stay with you, you must show genuine appreciation to the other personís character just as you would show sincere importance to your own. Give in, if you must, without compromising friendship. Let mutual benefits overshadow pride.
Itís easier to keep friendship by giving in, than to win back friendship that has been lost. Saying sorry later may be noble, but it needs not be the order of the day.
When people shy away, everybody stands to lose. So why allow it?